The conscious, disciplined practice of loving can be called the yoga of loving. Louann Harlow, teacher at Richard Freeman's Yoga Workshop, practitioner for over thirty years, and Yoga program co-ordinator for Boulder City Parks and Recreation Department, tells of Adhil Pakiwala's visit to the Yoga Workshop.

He began his visit by asking students, "What is the most important thing to get out of your practice? Is it to stand on your head?" He went on to tell about a study in which people on their deathbeds were asked what they would do differently if they could do their lives over. Ninety percent said they would love more. The other ten percent said they would like to be loved more.

In the early stages of the yoga of loving, awareness of the attitudes, beliefs, and patterns that inhibit the expression of your truest nature seem to surface first. As in the first days of practicing an asana, the aches, pains, and weaknesses in your body become apparent, but after a few weeks of practice, the body strengthens, the breath steadies; so, too, the mind, emotions, and spirit steady and strengthen with the continuing practice of loving.

In my book, Loving: Tapping Your Spiritual Source, I formalized the practice of loving by designing daily practices to increase your capacity to love and be loved. The four-week program I developed, which includes the practices described in this article, was presented to a study group. Each of the study participants had remarkable results. One woman gained greater confidence, so much so that she found the courage she needed to move to a city where she had always wanted to live, even though she didn't know anyone there. Another woman reported that her thoughts and self-talk, which had been harsh and critical her whole life, became more nurturing and gentle. As a result, she became calmer and more peaceful, both with herself and with others.

Here are five practices that can help your focus on loving.

The first practice--breath. As you undertake your daily tasks, watch your breathing (prana). As this calms you, move your awareness to your heart. Just by focusing your attention on your heart, peace, tenderness, and acceptance penetrate your inner being and begin to express in your outer world. Practising urdhva and damurasana (heart opening backbends) are great accompaniments to this process.

The second practice--love references. Remember any moments in your life when you felt deeply and utterly loved. Chances are, you also felt deeply loving at those times. Use these memories as your reference points when you feel far from loving.

The third practice--love stories. What are the stories you are telling yourself? What are you telling yourself about your body, your relationships, your career? Divine what is loving about these areas: what are they teaching you? How are you growing? If there are any self-defeating elements to your stories (and most of us will have some), reinvent them; make them true and loving about yourself. Move on to rewriting your stories about others, about the world. Make all your stories love stories.

Practice four--loving yourself and loving others. Deeply love every aspect of your being, consciously, actively. Use your reframed love stories to bring love to all those areas you have been harsh about. Use your memories of loving to help you learn how love to those aspects of yourself that you have labelled"unlovable". Like your most challenging yoga postures, these are the areas where you need to practice loving the most. Do the same for the other people in your life.

Finally, consciously connect with the loving energy you have learned to find. Visualize it as light; guide it throughout your body and back to the center of your heart.

Practising the yoga of loving is like beating a path through the brush. If you walk the path again, the trail becomes easier to find and easier to walk; the more days you walk the path of loving, the easier it will be to stay loving in times of particular challenge and stress. And you can begin to become a refuge of love, compassion, and peace for your family, friends, community, and the world.

Opportunities to practice love are available every moment of every day, in every activity you do. Practice loving while washing the dishes, driving to work, while with your co-workers, your family and friends, while watching the news. You will find that the yoga of loving leads to personal and physical well-being, greater spiritual attunement, and the joy of service to others.

Dr. Catherine Corona.

[Return to Top] [Previous] [Next]