What is love? First, let us explore what love isn't. When you are feeling anger, fear, jealousy, intolerance, you are probably not feeling much loving. However, these emotions are important to recognize as signposts that can direct you back into your heart.

Uncomfortable emotions are symptoms of a deeper need. For instance, if you are feeling anger, look beneath the anger and ask yourself "What am I really needing?" You might need safety, or to be heard. Once you find the need beneath the emotion you can decide how to take care of it. If you need security, seek out the companionship of someone you trust and can talk to openly and honestly. When you know the inner need is going to be met, usually the emotion will subside and you can be loving again.

Some of the qualities of loving are acceptance, happiness, patience, compassion, understanding, joy and humor. In a state of loving you will more easily connect with people and delight in relationships. You will feel more alive.

So how can you become more loving? Consider a regime change.

Love can be learned. Just as an athlete prepares, tracks and consistently practices a regimen to achieve his or her athletic goals, you can also design a program to grow love for yourself. As you practice loving, you will find your way back to your heart more quickly and easily in times of challenge and stress. Where once you might have stayed angry for a couple of days, you can train yourself to move back into your heart, and anger may last only a couple of minutes. The following are just a few practices to develop a more loving life.

First, examine how loving you are, and set a goal of how loving you want to become. By simply acknowledging that you would like to love and be loved more, you have stepped on the path of loving and have begun a great adventure. It's like blazing a new trail through deep woods: at first the going is difficult and you might need to push brush aside to make your way. The next day, your new trail is easier to find. When you walk the path again your path has widened and others may even take advantage of your work and find their way.

Second, remember times when you clearly experienced love, perhaps with a child or inn nature. Let that feeling come back to you and fill you. When you have an experience that brings up negative feelings, find the need beneath the emotion, acknowledge it, then bring up your loving memory and let those uplifting emotions replace the negative ones. You will be able to handle everything with greater balance and effectiveness when you are practicing loving.

The third practice is to notice the stories you tell yourself about all aspects of your life: your relationships, your family, your career, your health, etc. If there is any hurt, blame, or sense of failure in your stories, change them to love stories. Step back and find what you learned, how you grew, and what is true and loving about yourself and your life. Rewrite the story. Really, write it down!

Fourth practice: When you wake up in the morning say to yourself, "Today, I want to experience love in everything I do and with everyone I meet." This simple statement of intention will set your day's course in the direction of loving.

Fifth practice: During your daily activities, like brushing your teeth, riding to work, eating your meals, ask yourself, "How can I make this task more loving?" Rather than going about your activities unconsciously or listening to the same old mind chatter, change your self-talk to appreciative commentary on yourself and the task at hand. For instance, while you are showering you might say to yourself "My body is really good to me. It gets me up in the morning. It gets me to work. I love this body of mine."

Finally, the sixth practice: What do you love to do? What makes you feel alive and happy? Do at least one thing you love every day! Simple, huh? Just by doing at least one thing that you love every day will help create a much more loving life.

By practicing loving throughout the day, you train yourself like an athlete. You can live more fully in the true purpose of life, to love and be loved. By following the path of love, not only will you continue to transform yourself, you will naturally be a blessing to all you meet. As we each transform, we help our world transform into a more loving, uplifting world. This is humanity's next evolutionary step. It starts with each one of us individually and can become contagious. A loving, caring, peaceful, world can exist. We can look forward, one day, to a real regime change.

Dr. Catherine Corona.

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